My husband’s mother never cared for me, but once our kid was born, things changed unexpectedly. My allegiance was questioned, so I consented to a DNA test provided the standards were reasonable.
I supported Ben through two job losses and his company startup from the start. I also tolerated his mother, Karen, who made me feel like an outsider at family events.
She never said anything, but it was obvious—I wasn’t worthy.
My family was not famous.
When I told Ben I wanted to elope instead of have a big wedding, she almost imploded. I recall the night I suggested it—we were in bed, legs entangled, wondering about our future. The concept appeared to please him.
When Karen discovered we did it? She said that was another reason I didn’t belong.
I thought things would change when I had our kid. My son was born with his father’s hair, dark eyes, and chin cleft. I hoped to finally feel like family.
Instead, I was surprised.
After I gave delivery, Karen came over. She cradled him, smiled, and cooed like a wonderful grandmother. Then she gone. Weeks passed. Nobody called or texted to check on us or ask for aid.
I felt the familiar agony again—that quiet loneliness in your own home when you know someone is quietly condemning you.
Ben came in from the hallway and sat alongside me one night, and I felt odd.
He looked at the floor and then his hands.
Finally, he spoke.
“Babe… My mother suggests a DNA test… Dad likes the concept too.”
So I waited for his grin. “Can you believe they said that?” But he didn’t.
He said Karen eventually phoned and begged him to do it, just in case. She and her spouse read about women who deceive men into parenting their offspring.
Then I quietly whispered, “Do you think we should?”
He massaged his hands and remarked, “It wouldn’t hurt to get some clarity, right? It would silence them and provide proof.”
No tears. I didn’t shout. Something within me broke.
“Sure,” I responded, placing my book on the coffee table. “Do it. Only on one condition.”
Blinking, he glanced up. “What?”
“You test your mom, too,” I remarked. “Do a DNA test with your dad.”
He leaned back, eyebrows raised, asking, “Why?”
I arose and crossed my arms as I walked the room.
“If your mom can make ch.eating accusations based on nothing, I’d like to know if she’s sure about her own past,” I added. “Fair’s fair?”
Ben was quiet at first. Then he nodded slowly.
“Okay,” he frowned. “Good point. Will do. We keep things private first.”
That ended it.
We made a fast lab appointment, and I held him while they swabbed his cheek. He was too focused on eating the tech’s glove to notice anything odd.
Getting Ben’s dad’s DNA was harder. We had to be inventive.
We asked his parents to supper a week later. Karen placed her customary pie on the counter.
Ben’s dad spoke about golf in the living room like nothing was wrong.
Ben casually gave his dad a toothbrush from a health product line he was investigating for the firm after the evening.
“Hey, Dad, try this for me?” He said. “I might sell it through the startup. Better for the environment.”
Dad took it to the bathroom and brushed without thinking.
He returned and stated the toothbrush was the same as his. Ben looked at me and instructed his dad to leave it in the bathroom.
The following day we ship samples.
Mission accomplished.
A few weeks later, our kid turned one. We invited only close relatives to the birthday celebration. I adorned the living room with blue and silver balloons.
We played games on the dining table until it was time to cut the cake. Everybody sang and tried to encourage my kid to blow out the candle.
After supper, he was exhausted, so I put him to bed.
After returning, everyone was conversing casually, so I nodded at Ben and grabbed an envelope from the kitchen drawer.
“We have a little surprise for everyone,” I smiled.
All eyes were on me.
“Since some folks had doubts,” I began, staring at Karen, “Ben and I decided to get a DNA test for our son.”
My son looked like Ben, so everyone was puzzled.
But Karen was seated in the armchair smiling smugly.
I took out the paperwork from the envelope. “And guess what?” I said. 100% Ben’s kid.”
Karen’s grin vanished.
“But that’s not all,” Ben said, reaching for another envelope from his desk drawer from the sofa.
I said, “Since we were doing DNA tests anyway, we figured we’d check if Ben’s related to his dad too.”
Karen’s face became ghost-white and her mouth fell. “What?!”.
“Seemed only fair,” I answered. “Under the circumstances?”
The room quieted as Ben opened the second envelope. We hadn’t looked. However, my spouse gazed at the document longer than anticipated, blinking.
He continued, “Dad…” gulping. It turns out I’m not your son.
Karen sprang up so quickly the chair almost fell over.
“You had NO RIGHT—” she shouted at me.
Ben blocked her with one hand.
He yelled, “You accused my wife of ch.eating, Mom.” “Turns out, you projected.”
Karen turned around and saw everyone gazing, then cried and fell back into her chair.
Ben’s dad gently rose up after a moment of silence. He remained silent. Went to the table, got his keys, and went.
***
Karen phoned days later. Mornings, afternoons, late nights. We remained silent. I didn’t want to hear her sobbing, excuses, or fact twisting.
But stillness was hard too. Our marriage became the true issue after the DNA incident.
I was wounded by more than Karen. Ben also requested the exam.
He didn’t oppose her. He never said, “No, Mom, don’t be ridiculous.” That hurt the most.
He regretted it, however. He apologized more times than I could count, not in a hasty, guilty manner, but sincerely.
“I don’t know what I was thinking,” he remarked one night. I did not want to fight her. Wouldn’t think she’d say it without cause. I was dumb.”
Despite knowing others would have left this situation, I chose treatment. For weeks, we spoke the hard things in a little room with beige walls and a box of Kleenex on the table.
“It’s not just the DNA test,” I told him one session. “Trustlessness. You didn’t trust me despite my never giving you a cause to question me.”
Eyes wet, he nodded. “I know. I erred. Never doubt you again.”
He’s maintained his word thus far. Must give him that.
Over time, we got through it. He listened more. He protected me. His mom’s relatives tried to encourage us to speak to her, but he ignored them.
Because he admitted his mistakes, I wholeheartedly forgiven him.
Karen and I are nearly entirely estranged. I heard lame justifications and guilt trips on a voicemail.
We banned her after I removed it before the finish.
Ben’s parents divorced soon after the celebration. He also stopped talking to Karen.
Visiting us more without her altered nothing between him and Ben. Luckily.
While holding the coffee table edge, our kid grew, laughed, babbled, and learned to walk.
The DNA results are still in a drawer. We didn’t check them again.