A couple of old ladies were sitting on a patio and speaking to each other about their grandchildren.
“I send gifts, greeting cards, and checks to my grandchildren,” complains one, “and still they barely visit me!”

The second old lady said, “Oh, I also send checks to my grandchildren, and they visit me all the time!”

“You are so fortunate to have more grateful grandchildren than my own,” said the first one sadly.

The second old lady smiled: “No, my grandchildren are about as grateful as yours.”

“So what do YOU do different? Are your checks bigger than mine?” Asked the first one, surprised.

“No,” chuckled the other old lady, “I just don’t sign mine.”

Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table

Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table discussing their problems with getting old.
The first one said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can’t remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich.”

The second lady says, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.”

The third one says, ” Well, ladies, I’m glad I don’t have any of those problems, knock on wood.”

As she hit her knuckles on the table she looked up and said, “That must be the door… I’ll get it!”

LOL!!